The Kingdom Hearts Chat Log
by EternalRose
Summary: Kingdom Hearts characters discover Instant Messaging! Wonder what they all talk about...


This story is probably pointless, but I enjoyed writing it! :]

These are the characters IM names:  
Roxas: KeyOfDestiny  
Sora: TouchMyKeyblade  
Riku: Riku (obviously xD)  
Kairi: Kairi:]  
Axel: Axel (again, obvious :D)  
Saix: Xmarksthespot  
Marluxia: FlowerPower  
Demyx: WaterBoy  
?: NumberOne

* * *

**KeyOfDestiny has signed on.**

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Roxassssss!

_KeyOfDestiny:_ Why are you speaking to me?

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Why not?

_KeyOfDestiny:_ We're sat within touching distance, Sora. You're missing the point of IM.

_TouchMyKeyblade: _You're so mean! No-one else is online :[! … I saw you roll your eyes at me! Hey! Don't make me get my keyblade out!

**Riku has sighed in.  
**_  
KeyOfDestiny:_ Don't make me get MINE out ;]

_Riku_: I thought I'd find you two on here.

_KeyOfDestiny:_ Rikuuuuu :] Finally, someone decent to speak to. Roxas is being an ass!

_Riku_: Someone needs to make sure you're not being an idiot. You're too much of a handful for me and Kairi put together.

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Hey! I'm not a handful - or an idiot!

_KeyOfDestiny:_ LOL!

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Shut up before I hurt you :!

_KeyOfDestiny:_ I'll tell Kairi you sleep with her picture under your pillow.

Riku: Duuude, that's NOT cool. See why you need help?

_TouchMyKeyblade_: He's lying! Tell him Roxas! You've never even been to my house!

_KeyOfDestiny:_ ;] I'm basically a genetically identical copy of you, so I think I should know you kiss that picture every night before you sleep.

**Kairi:] has signed in.**

_Riku_: Speak of the devil.

_Kairi:]_: Hey guys!

_KeyOfDestiny:_ Hello, we were just talking about you.

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Hey Kairi! How's Art School going?

_Kairi:]_: Okay… It's going good, thanks. It's so hard… but it's really, really good. I can't wait to see you guys though! I hate not being able to see you :[

_KeyOfDestiny:_ Sora really misses you, too. A lot. He cries constantly.

_Riku_: Why doesn't that surprise me?

_TouchMyKeyblade_: I do not! I mean - I do miss you - a lot… but I don't cry! He's lying I swear!

_KeyOfDestiny:_ Sora just kicked me!

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Yeah and I hope it bruises, fat head.

_KeyOfDestiny_: You know you basically just insulted yourself then, right?

_Kairi:]_: What's going on up there?

_KeyOfDestiny_: Nothing much, Sora's just too shy to -

**KeyOfDestiny Signed off.**

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Roxas is being his usual idiotic self! :] Brb!

**TouchMyKeyblade sighed off.**

_Kairi:]_: I don't get it.

_Riku_: Their strangeness must be genetic…

**XMarksTheSpot signed on.**

_XMarksTheSpot_: Greetings all.

_Kairi:]_: Hey…

_XMarksTheSpot_: How are you this fine evening?

_Riku_: We're good thanks.

**Axel signed on.**

_Axel_: Yo.

_Kairi:]_: .. I think I might sign off now…

_XMarksTheSpot_: Hello, Axel.

_Axel_: C'mon Kairi, you're not still mad, are you? Us natural red-heads should stick together! … Oh hey… um, who are you?

_Kairi:]_: No, thanks. You might decide to kidnap me again.

_Axel_: That was a long time ago! It's history, man. You need to let go.

_XMarksTheSpot_: What do you mean who am I?

_Kairi:]_: Axel, I will cut off those spikes and shove them up your arse!

**TouchMyKeyblade signed on**

_Axel_: Feisty ;]

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Back! Did you miss me…? Oh… hey there Axel! And … X… spot… Saix, is it? Nice name!

_Riku_: LOL. You have to be kidding me.

_Axel_: Superior? O.o Tell someone hacked your account and you didn't choose that name yourself…

_XMarksTheSpot_: What are you talking abo - oh. -_- Excuse me a moment. I have a Nobody to kill.

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Roxas says it wasn't him! He swears it wasn't him!

**XMarksTheSpot signed out.**

_Axel_: Roxas is with you?

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Yeah. He said to tell you he loves you and wants to have your babies.

_Axel_: What?

_Kairi:]_: That's strangely… cute, I guess…

_Riku_: I think a few of my brain cells just died…

_TouchMyKeyblade_: Well, that's what he said! He love-love-loves you!

**TouchMyKeyblade signed out.**

_Axel_: …?

_Kairi3: _Damn the bell just went… I'm going to have to go! See you later guys! Go crawl in a whole and die Axel! :]

_Axel_: Burn baby burn!

_Riku_: You sure have a way with women…

**Kairi:] signed out.**

**KeyOfDestiny signed in.**

_Axel_: Come to tell express your feeling for me in person?

_KeyOfDestiny_: Sora was joking you idiot! … Where's Kairi?

_Axel_: It's okay, Roxy, I respect your honesty. This won't come between us ;] And don't call me an idiot or you'll wake up with no eyebrows!

_Riku_: She left. She said bye to you and Sora. Where is Sora?

_KeyOfDestiny_: Sora was lying! And he's currently in a head lock.

_Axel_: Like you'd admit it to me anyways.

_Riku_: … okay.

_KeyOfDestiny_: That's IT!

**WaterBoy signed on**

_KeyOfDestiny_: I'm going to shove this keyblade so far up your ass you won't be able to sit for a week!

_WaterBoy_: …

_Axel_: Hello there, mullet-boy… Geesh! What is it with my arse and pointed objects today!? Anyone else want to shove something up it?

_Riku_: Annnd this is my queue to leave, bye.

**Riku signed out.**

_KeyOfDestiny_: Hey, Dem - nice name :]! Okay fine then, I'll smack you in the face with it!

_WaterBoy_: Hey guys... Am I interrupting something?

_Axel_: Try it, blondie!

_KeyOfDestiny_: Don't call me that! THAT'S IT! You're going down, fire cracker. And um.. No Demyx. Axel's just being an ass as usual.

_Axel_: I will OWN your ass… even though I already do ;]

_WaterBoy_: Was he being perverted?

_Axel_: Of course I wasn't! What makes you jump to that conclusion!? ;] It was Roxas who confessed his undying love for me… not that he can be blamed because I am amazing.

_WaterBoy_: You guys are messing with me, aren't you!

_KeyOfDestiny_: One word: Sora.

_Axel_: Want to be a Godfather to our children, mullet-head? Me and Roxy are going to be having babies… somehow.

_WaterBoy_: Really!? Yes! I can teach them the art of playing the sitar! :D

_KeyOfDestiny_: Did you even read what I said, Demyx!? We are NOT having children - it was Sora! Eugh! Right, I'm seriously coming now, Axel. You better start running.

_Axel_: You know where I am ;]

**FlowerPower signed in.**

_WaterBoy_: Oh no! Please don't start fighting! It makes me nervous when you guys fight… Can't we have a nice happy sing-song instead? I'll play my sitar for you! I've been practising this new song for weeks!

_KeyOfDestinty_: No Demyx!

_Axel_: I'm not even going to comment... Hey, this is quite comfy. No wonder why you never want to get out of bed in a morning, Roxy.

_KeyOfDestiny_: Get OUT of MY room, Axel! I mean it!

_Axel_: Come and make me.

_FlowerPower_: He's not in your room.

_WaterBoy_: He's sat right next to me! :] And he told me to go along with what he's saying!

_Axel_: Smooth guys, cheers… Well I'm heading there now… later ;]

**Axel signed out.**

_KeyOfDestiny_: Oh no you - what?

_WaterBoy_: He said I'm no longer Godfather :[!

_KeyOfDestiny_: We're not having - oh I give up! Where'd he go?

_WaterBoy_: He's shutting down the computer… getting up… now he's plumping the pillows. And he's looking at me… with evil eyes -

_FlowerPower_: Holy flower puffs! He set Demyx's fish pond on fire!

_WaterBoy_: NOOOOOOO! My precious little fishies!

**WaterBoy signed out.**

**NumberOne signed in**

_FlowerPower_: Oh no…! That's a big fire… wait it was my plants around it. SHIT! My plants! NOOOOOOO!

**FlowerPower signed out.**

_KeyOfDestiny_: What the-? Hello? … Guys?

_NumberOne_: Hello, Roxas.

_KeyOfDestiny_: Hello, who is this…?

_NumberOne_: It is I! The mighty, powerful leader Mansex! I mean, Xenman! . Xemnas.

_KeyOfDestiny_: Okay… o.O well sorry can't talk! Gotta go… do a mission! Yeah umm… Bye!

**KeyOfDestiny signed out.**

**Saix signed in.**

_NumberOne_: You changed it back?

_Saix_: How did you know about that?

_NumberOne_: News travels fast.

_Saix_: Hmm… Well I still haven't found the imbecile who found it funny to change it the first place… Wait, did you change your name?

_NumberOne_: Yes, I quite like it. Don't you?

_Saix_: Sure…

_NumberOne_: It's number one like me. I am number one and you're not :P!

_Saix_: Superior?

_NumberOne_: I love hearts. Pink is my favourite colour and I have prettiful gold eyes. Look at me - I sparkle!

_Saix_: I suggest whoever it is to get off the superiors account RIGHT NOW.

_NumberOne_: Yes, sir :]! And by the way, XMarksTheSpot!

**NumberOne signed out.**

_Saix_: Hey - oh fuck it.

**Saix signed out.**


End file.
